


I was confused

by BrettseyBr



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Confessions, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kissing, Love Confessions, Pre-Relationship, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrettseyBr/pseuds/BrettseyBr
Summary: Stella realizes that Sylvie is avoiding Casey and that they are both suffering from it and decides to have a conversation with her friend to try to fix things.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett & Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	I was confused

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing the photo in which it seems that Sylvie and Stella are talking, this idea practically screamed in my head and ended up becoming a little story lol. Besides, I owed a fanfic to a dear friend ... I hope you like K1 ❤️

For a moment Brett thought Casey was going to knock on his door again that night.  
When she asked him to leave, the look he gave her was probably as sad as the one she had on her face.  
But it was something she had to do, if only life were simpler, if he were just someone she fell in love with, if he wasn't someone close's ex, if he wasn't her captain ...  
Everything would be so much simpler and easier.  
She would not hesitate to continue things that night, she would probably wake up in her arms in the morning and she certainly would not have gone to sleep crying.

The reminder of last night's memories practically screamed to the floor behind the door. While she was having a cup of coffee considering the possibility that it was just another one of her dreams with him, as she went towards the sofa, arranging some magazines and the decoration of the bookcase that was out of place she saw in the corner of the door the jacket he wore last night, the one she helped him take off himself.

Damn it! Did she have to kiss him?  
What would things be like from now on?  
Would they talk about? Was she better off avoiding him? Or was it possible for them to pretend that nothing had happened and continue as they were the day before yesterday ...

She was deluding herself if she believed in the latter hypothesis.

Impossible to look at him and not remember what his lips were like on hers, what it was like to run his fingers over her hair, how his breath felt on her neck or the weight of his body on hers, she knew too much now and it made perfect sense what they say 'What the eyes don’t see the heart don’t feel' and what you don’t taste, you don’t miss either, because that was exactly how she felt, she knew how it could be and her heart and the body asked for more.

But she would have to settle for last night's sample.

He had been honest and she could see it in his eyes, after some time crying before going to sleep she also remembered seeing some confusion and maybe a regret in her look, deep down she hoped it was because she was confused and not because to have crossed the line with her, but she would not dare to ask, it was enough to feel everything she was feeling, there was no need to add anything else to it.

Finishing getting dressed for work had not been easy, it was generally not a problem to wake up early and get ready, but today it was different. She needed to face him for the next 24 hours.  
She had decided that avoiding would be the best option, since she didn’t trust herself very much around him, she would answer whatever she asked, she would do her best not to show anything, but she wouldn’t be anywhere that he was alone, that was the plan and it looked safe.

In the early hours of the day it was pretty easy, 61 had several small calls, which kept her busy and away, but it was lunchtime and everyone was at the bullpem, including Casey.  
She did the best she could, smiled, grabbed something to eat, played with Gallo and Ritter who were finishing their lunch, but passed right by the table and sat next to Mouch on the couch.  
She didn't think it would be a big deal, but it seems she was wrong, when everyone including Mouch looked at her in surprise.

" What ?" She asked, adjusting the plate on her legs.

"On the couch? You never eat on the couch!" - Herrmann said. He was standing in front of the TV next to the sofa.

Think fast, Sylvie. Think fast.

"Did you happen to see how many calls we had? I need a cozy place, my legs are hurting. And please, go over there, Mouch, you got the whole couch."

Phew, this may have been close, she needed to think better before doing these things, and hoped the conversation about being tired would be accepted by them.

"Me huh, you look like Trudy talking."

"Thanks for that!" - She said to the most experienced fireman when he got ready on the couch, giving her more space.

But she didn't miss the look between him and Herrmann.  
Avoiding Casey without getting their attention would be more difficult than she thought.

Speaking of which, she couldn't even look in his direction when she passed them, they were in their usual places, usually sat next to her, him, Stella and Severide. It hurt like hell to do that, but it hurt more to remember the other night.

Thankful would be the word to describe when the alarm sounded at 61 before she even finished eating, so it was much easier to keep her promise to stay away, certain that Mackey would have to pay for it, since he was riding in the vehicle with her , but she could reward her later by visiting the bakery she loved to buy her favorite dunuts.  
She almost felt like crying with that memory, usually that would be Foster's suggestion when she realized that she needed to hide her anguish with sugar, she missed her partner, especially on days like today.

Returning from the call, who had just been a lady who forgot to take her high blood pressure medication, something relatively easy to solve, she did what she thought, bought the Dunuts, something that Mackey was very grateful for, but considered whether she would buy or not the dulce de leche, this was Casey's favorite.  
Finally she decided not to take it, she bought it just for herself and Mackey.

It's better this way. - She imagined.

But as everything that can be good does not last long, the afternoon the movement was very different, no calls for them had yet happened.  
She had already done the paperwork, the inventory, taught intubation techniques and some medications to Mackey, played with Tuesday and nothing.  
She saw some looks and small conversations, and hoped that the subject of the moment was not her and her detachment from a certain captain, speaking of him, he had barely been seen after lunch.  
Even though the day was not the busiest, Casey was locked up in his quarters, quiet and far from everyone.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Casey, but whatever it is, sort it out now" - Stella scared her when she surprised her (hidden) in the locker room.

"Nothing is happening, I have no idea what you're talking about." - She tried to look as natural as possible.

"Ah, Brett. Really? On top of me with this chat? Soon me?"

"Stella, seriously, nothing is happening."

"Let's recap, you told me on the day of the accident that you had practically declared yourself to him, before that he spent the night in your apartment, correct me if I'm wrong."

After the paramedic's silence ..

"So, you go to Molly's and get out of nowhere, gossip flies around here and I know you left after Gallo told Casey's feat, then Casey leaves too and when he gets home, he comes with a face like someone I come from a wake, and lock myself in the room all the time. Then my friend eats on the couch, hides in the dressing room. "

" I.."

Raising his index finger at her, Stella continued. "I'm not done, wait. As I said, my friend spends the day avoiding the one she talks to most during shifts and nothing is happening? And that's why I didn't even mention a captain locked up in his quarters with a huge scowl."

" It's complicated.."

"My God, is that all there is in your vocabulary? Is it complicated what Sylvie? Doesn't he match your feelings?"

" Perhaps.."

"Maybe? Friend, you have no idea how desperate he was while we were looking for you that day."

"He's the captain, he cares about us all"

"Yes, he constantly jumps from moving cars without the equipment, oh and bridges too, which would be 51 without Captain America over there, isn't it ?! You know very well that this is not something 'normal' of him, you don't saw the despair when we saw the fall. "

"He still likes her, Stella."

"Gabby?"

" Yes! "

"Girl! He'll always like her, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. They were married, they had a history together, but the feelings may be different than you think. Did you even let him explain?"

" Not.."

"Brett… Brett, you and your habit of always putting yourself behind others. Stop thinking too much, friend, if I did that I wouldn't be with Severide today, do you think it was easy? Someone always seemed to want to remind me of his past, the person he was, the women he was with. "

"And how did you handle it?"

"It's just a friend! You leave the past in the past and move on. It's easy? No, it's not! But it's possible. Talk to him, let him explain himself, and if they are in different places, just follow opposite paths. . Avoiding is not the solution, you will just get hurt. "

Sylvie was considering her friend's words.

"Wait, what led you to know whether he likes her or not?"

Brett couldn't hide a small smile.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, YOU CHEATER!"

"Stella speaks softly" - Sylvie got up and went to the door to see if anyone was around. "We kissed, but that was it."

"Just that? When was that? Was it Molly's night?"

" Yes!"

"I knew !!! That explains a lot."

"I don't know how to handle this right now."

"There is no magic way, just face it."

" I can not."

"Are you telling me that the girl who came from a small town alone, faced a lot of things alone, survived attacks and psychopaths can't handle a conversation? Is that it?"

"You putting it like that ..."

"I'm just going to tell you something. I think it's good for you to settle this because Casey is in a bad mood and makes Severide in a bad mood and if he gets in a bad mood I'll stay too and guess who's going to have to put up with me?"

"Ok, ok! It's too bad to deal with."

" What are you waiting for?"

" What now?"

"No, let's wait for Christmas, who knows the good old man will not be pity and we will give less confused and less thinking brains."

" You are bad! "

"Severide never complained."

"Ugh, less details."

"Your problem if you think so, why do I want details, all of them !!!! Now go!"

"If I cry it will be your fault."

"I can handle it and we always have Gallo's ice cream in the fridge."

Sylvie almost lost her nerve when she got close to the apartment door, but worse than facing it all could be facing Stella.

She watched him through the door.  
He was sitting with his elbows on the table and holding his head with both hands.

She knocked softly on the doorframe and he raised his head to look at who was knocking, and he looked surprised to see her.

"Can I… can I come in?"

"Sure!" - He got up and turned the chair to face the bed.

She understood the cue, closed the door behind her and sat on her bed.

" Excuse me?" - He said, his eyes were red and he looked dejected.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to be honest with you, you are too important to me, Sylvie. I know I'm a relationship disaster, but I didn't want to lose you."

"Matt, you are not a disaster."

How could he think that way?

"Look at me, Sylvie. Two relationships lost, in one I wasn't even able to make her want to stay, or go back."

"What are you saying? Do you think it was your fault that she left?"

"Yes, you said that yourself, remember? I wasn't even able to make her stay."

"Matt, I was upset at that time, it wasn't your fault, you should know that! Several times she had the opportunity to come back, or call, and still decided not to, I don't judge her, I know she had her reasons, but that reason is exclusively hers, Matt, it doesn't mean that you are not enough or that you are guilty, we deal with problems in different ways and she did it that way. "

"Just tell me a good reason why someone wants to be with me. I'm a mess."

"I could say several!"

"Sylvie…"

"No, Matt! You shouldn't think of yourself like that, you're an example of a person, a wonderful captain, look around, everyone loves you and respects you, you're always ready to help someone, you should see that."

"You deserve better."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Damn it Casey, why do I love you!" - She let the feeling of anger dominate, it was unbelievable that he could think it wasn't good enough for her or anyone.

As soon as he realized, he almost regretted what he had said.

" I love you too! "

"But you said ..."

"I was confused, I had never asked myself about the possibility, that night I called her as soon as I arrived at Severide's apartment."

She wasn't sure she wanted to know what they had said.

"I needed to hear you, I needed to be sure. I knew my feelings for you were real, but I wanted to have a convinced answer for you."

" Then?!"

"We talked for a while and before I hung up the phone I already knew. I will always have a huge affection for her, she will always be part of my story, but she was in the past, Sylvie. It is with you that I imagine myself in the future, getting married, having kids .. I know it seems like a hasty thing to say but it's not something that came up now, it's not just a moment, this feeling has been with me for a while, I just didn't know how to deal with it. I talked to Gabby that we should move on, and she seemed to accept that. But then you avoid me all day and I thought I lost you too. "

She didn't know how to respond.  
Marry? Have children? She imagined doing this to him, she just didn't think it was something he could imagine too.

He had got up at one point in the speech and was leaning against the table, almost sitting. They were still facing each other, but the distance between them was greater.

Then, she got up too, approached him, and for the second time surprised him with a kiss. It was not the most suitable place, but it was the right time. He had torn his heart right there in front of her and she could see his honesty in his eyes, he had hurt her with the answer that other day but she had hurt him today too. Stella was right, nothing is better than facing and living with one foot in the past and the other in the present would not make them move towards the future, not at least to one where they were together.

He returned the kiss as soon as her lips touched his. But this time it was not only intense as in his apartment, it was something full of feelings and promises, he surprised her when he lifted her up and sat her on his desk. He used his legs to open her legs and fit in the middle, getting as close as he could to her.  
When air was needed, they parted, he used both hands, one on each side on her head to stroke, down the length of her hair to her neck, one hand rested on her shoulder and one remained stroking her face. She had her hands on him, one on her waist and the other on her chest.

"I love you, Sylvie Brett!" - He said smiling.

"I love you, too, Matthew Casey."

"I like the sound of that." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, and she smiled at him.

The sound of the alarm calling all the vehicles brought them back, reminding them of where they were.

" Later?"

" Later! "

Each ran towards their vehicles, not before a brief look between them and a smile.

Stella was driving 81, passing the ambulance and honking her horn and Brett heard her say.

" It's about time! "

Sylvie smiled, leaving a confused Mackey, no one except they knew, but she was sure that things were working out and most (or all) thanks to her friend, who knows one day if her dreams come true, Stella is not her godmother. , It would be great!

And they all ran towards the call, doing what they did best, saving people.  
But Sylvie had plans for later, and what plans...

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was it lol I hope you enjoyed it, I'm so looking forward to January that writing has been an escape. Thanks to everyone who reads ❤️


End file.
